Raucous Underground

It's time to light the lights!

You know how you had that favorite film or show you loved as a kid, then as an adult you heard they were remaking it? Remember being filled with tentative joy at being able to see your childhood icons once more? Until you finally saw it in theaters and wept loudly until they dragged you kicking and screaming from the marquee? Wait, maybe that was just me… But come on, we’ve all had our dreams crushed so many times that we don’t even blink when Hollywood craps all over another of our favorites from yesteryear. That’s why many people have so much trepidation over the newest Disney release, The Muppets. I mean, if their Muppet Show ‘reboot’ Studio DC:Almost Live in 2008 was any indication, Disney just can’t handle the Muppets. Rest assured ladies and gents and pigs and frogs and weirdos, this film is truer to the Muppets formula then the franchise has been in decades.

Though the movie isn’t really being sold as a reboot, it is in a way. Getting into the details would spoil the plot, but it will suffice to say that in the end the Muppets start with a fresh slate for any new films or shows to begin. It’s basically the original Muppet movie… just set in the 21st century as a follow-up. The plot, or rather, plots, are fairly basic. The Muppets need to save the theater from an oil baron (again), so they regroup and decide to put on a show. Gary (played by Jason Segal) needs to be there for both his brother Walter (played by Walter) and his girlfriend Mary (played by Amy Adams) and in the end needs to choose one to be with. All three actors play their roles well, though in the end they take backstage to the real stars of the stage, the Muppets.

And this is the return to the true Muppets form that we have been wishing to see for decades. Absurdist parodies abound, along with numerous references to things guaranteed to fly over kids’ heads. No CGI to be found here, just plenty of puppetry. And you’d think they couldn’t find any new ways to present puppets, but you’ll undoubtedly leave the theater wondering how they pulled off the likes of ‘Muppet Man’. Celebrities such as Mickey Rooney, Neil Patrick Harris and Dave Grohl will have the adults laughing while the kids will undoubtedly recognize the likes of Jack Black and Selena Gomez. Kids… kids do recognize Jack Black right? They’d better.

Here kids, this is Jack Black.

Ah, and the musical numbers. Music has always been a huge part of the Muppets and it certainly delivers here. There’s fun covers of We Built This City, Smells Like Teen Spirit, and @#$% You. Then there’s new Muppet songs like Pictures in My Head, Man or Muppet, and Me Party. And (yes there’s even more) classic Muppet songs like Mahna Mahna, the Muppet Show theme and Rainbow Connection should crack a smile of nostalgia. It’s all good and it’s all quite memorable and endearing.

That said, the movie does have a few faults. The villain is hardly utilized well and really isn’t original in the slightest, though I will admit he is quite memorable thanks to a musical number and his maniacal laugh. The pacing in the entire film doesn’t really mesh well either. The first third of the movie kinda drags until the Muppets really start coming together. The various plotlines could probably intersect better. And while the humans play their roles well, they can’t help but seem bland compared to the brevity and raucousness of the Muppets.

Someone somewhere looked at Chris Cooper and thought he could rap. We bless that man here.

Though in the end, my complaints are fairly hollow. I’d buy a ticket to see this movie again in a heartbeat and honestly, this a movie everyone should see. Muppets are for everyone and it’s refreshing to see something so… sensationally charming in theaters. Movies like the Muppets only come every once in a green moon people, so go see it already.

So I had to tie Leaman up and throw him out back to get this article written. Don’t worry; I gave him some rum to keep him complacent. So what are we talking about? That show everyone on the internet has now heard of, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. People either love it or hate it, but you can’t argue that it’s now everywhere across the web. But I’m not going to write an article about the show. Nope, and I won’t write about the ponies either. No, I’m writing an article about us. I’m writing about the bronies.

Pictured: Your typical bronies.

Bronies. The word evokes fear in some. Bewilderment in most. But to a growing group of people, it makes them stick out their fist and say, “Brohoof baby!” So really, what is a brony? Let’s get that out of the way for the moment. A brony is anyone who watches My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic that is outside of the expected demographic, namely young girls. A brony could be an older girl or a guy of any age. Girls outside of the target demographic could also be referred to as a pegasis but that’s an entirely different matter. Strangely enough the majority of bronies are indeed bros. They’re guys between the ages of 18-35 who regularly follow a franchise based off a toyline for little girls. So I know what you’re thinking. “What the flippin’ <censored> is wrong with you people?”

Oddly enough this fanbase started off with the most wretched hive of scum and villainy across the galaxy. That’s right, 4chan. /b/tards and /co/mrades alike latched onto the latest animated iteration of MLP, Friendship is Magic. The fandom soon spread its brightly colored tendrils of friendship outside of the infamous image board and seeped into everything it could. Forums, blogs, parodies, fan-made music; anything and everything related to ponies sprung up overnight. There was no denying that an entire subculture had formed; one that even the show’s creators, including the renowned Lauren Faust could get behind and support.

Lauren Faust discovers /co/

So why support such a show? Why should guys like us, who eat a dozen raw eggs for breakfast before bench-pressing sports cars full of babes, watch a show… for little girls? The same reason we watch any cartoon. There’s no denying most cartoons are for kids but yet we watch them, right? Maybe out of nostalgia or maybe because they’re actually decent and people our age can find things to enjoy in them. MLP:FiM falls in the latter category. It’s a smartly written show with surprisingly expressive animation. The characters are each built up over a number of episodes before being systematically taken apart. Sure it’s still a goofy kids cartoon, but if you don’t like those then why are you even reading this? Don’t let the fact it’s geared towards girls keep you away from the show. That’s a sexist attitude and come on guys, this is the 21^st century now.

And interestingly, for being a show geared towards the younger crowd, it doesn’t treat them like stupid idiots who buy toys. There’s plenty of decent humor and even pop culture references that would fly over their tiny heads. They don’t spend all day talking about guys (there’s only one character who talks about a ‘prince’ twice over the whole 26 episode run) and they don’t spend their times throwing tea parties or shopping. That’s not to say they NEVER do anything girly. There’s an episode or two devoted to a fashion show and an episode about a sleepover. Sprinkled between those is an episode about fighting a dragon, an episode set in the Wild West and an episode about adorable ravenous creatures that destroy the entire town. See? A normal, everyday slice of life show.

These guys show up, like, every day around here.

So guys, season two is premiering in less than two weeks on September 17th on Hub. It’s the perfect time to give the show a chance. Time to see what the hype is about right? There’s a new villain named Discord who’s rumored to go and tear all the ponies down into sniveling, whimpering cowards. So that sounds like fun! Go give it a shot, then come back and give me a brohoof.

Just like that. Except not as colorful.

I’m… Torn. On the one hand, I’m exceedingly irked with Capcom at present because of how they’ve handled Mega Man since Inafune left and the fact that this is a 2.0 that’s announced not even 6 months past the release of the original. And it’s not even like it’s a sequel, it’s just a re-release. It’s the same game! I mean, if you’ve been keeping score, Capcom has been making alot of fans angry and then there’s this new habit of…

Fighting Game>DLC>Game2.0 + DLC>More DLC>Game3.0 with the new DLC>EVEN MORE DLC>Game4.0 + ALL DLC

It’s getting tiresome. Add to that the treatment of their other IP’s like Devil May Cry and Resident Evil and they just aren’t making many friends right now.

That said, there’s a reason they’ve been able to get away with this cycle of DLC and re-releases. The revamped game looks great! New moves for old characters, mechanic and balance tweaks, new characters, new stages… I mean… It looks fun. More fun than the original… But the original felt incomplete to me from the off. Myself and others have noticed the glaring holes in the game. It wasn’t as though they were places for planned DLC but rather DLC derived from having REMOVED chunks of the finished product. They gave us a BETA for $60 and now expect us to buy the finished game at another $40.

I honestly felt like the game was unfinished when I got it home. They promised a story mode but we just had the Arcade Mode, and while each character had their own ending, there wasn’t really any sort of a story. There’s the vaguest of plots with the two universes being drawn together by a joint DOOM and Wesker venture (and you don’t even get this from playing the game itself), but it’s never said how or what they hoped would happen and there doesn’t seem to be any true canonical ending since the various endings seem to bump into and contradict each other in places. Beyond that, features felt rushed and unfinished what with the terrible online match-making system and the (slowly released) Event Matches were little more than annoying ways of replaying Arcade Mode or fighting online.

TL;DR: Without getting into anymore of a review of the 1.0 release than I already have, I just think it’s really unfair to their consumers to expect them to buy the finished version of a game they’ve already been selling for 5 months.

Hey, guys, remember me? I thought we had something special.

Of course then there’s the Mega Man issue. Regardless of which Rockman you wanted or if you even wanted one at all, he is one of Capcom’s chief icons and was at one point their undisputed mascot. The lack of any sort of Mega Man, regardless of which one, is just insulting, if not to their long-time fans, then to themselves. What’s worse is Ryota Niitsuma has pretty much stated that if the game sells well, more DLC might be a possibility. OH BOY.

Long story short, I will likely buy the game… Used. That is, unless they announce Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3: Arcade Edition before I get around to it, in which case I’ll buy that one… Used.

Kilowog, Hal Jordan and Sinestro take center stage in this poster.

You know, for a nerd I don’t really know my comic book superheroes. Sure I read some comic books here and there but if you asked me about a particular superhero I couldn’t tell you much. That’s why when the film Green Lantern popped up on the radar; I didn’t pay it much attention. Not only was he a DC superhero (I was always more a Marvel fanboy) but I literally knew nothing about him. Comparisons to Iron Man did nothing to help my interest, so when I finally went to see it I fully expected a dull bland superhero movie. But to my surprise I found something far greater.

Green Lantern is not only a good superhero movie, but it’s one of the best superhero movies we’ve had in a long time. The characters are excellent, the effects are amazing and the plot is top-notch. Not that the movie is perfect, but it’s one of the best superhero movies we’ve had since Spider-Man 2.

Hal Jordan

Hal Jordan’s a fairly normal guy. A fairly normal colossal screw up anyway. He treats everyone like dirt and no one really likes him. But all that changes when a dying purple alien gives him a lantern and a ring. He soon finds that the ring transforms him into a Green Lantern (basically a space policeman with awesome powers) giving him far more responsibility than he bargained for. In the meantime a great evil is released, a being comprised entirely of fear itself. The being known as Parallax consumes entire worlds, feeding off of fear to grow stronger. A person on Earth also becomes infected by Parallax, biology teacher Hector Hammond, giving Hal Jordan two things to worry about destroying everything he knows. Through the movie, we see Hal Jordan evolve from class-A jerk to world renowned superhero.

Sinestro

Ryan Reynolds plays Hal Jordan and he plays him well. The character is believable and even likeable through his thick-skinned jerkiness. Even the secondary characters shine, Blake Lively as Carol Ferris is one of the best female leads we’ve had in a comic book movie in awhile. Not only is she a strong character but she actively takes a role in the main character’s life. She’s not just there to be eye candy, which is a huge step up from so many other female leads. Sinestro, played by Mark Smith, is an interesting alien mentor for Hal Jordan, simultaneously resenting and teaching him at the same time. He’s totally not bad or anything. Really, we promise. The other two main aliens, Kilowog and Tomar-Re help teach Hal Jordan how to use his powers. While all the alien characters are really cool, they’re not in the movie enough at all, only appearing briefly.

The special effects are, pardon the pun, out of this world. The vastness of space looks wonderful in 3D as does the planet Oa. At times the suit can look a bit video-gamey and the effects are lost in the dimness of the glasses. Parallax is equal parts terrifying and awesome; fair warning is issued for any sensitive children who are afraid of giant floating space skulls with tentacles.

Parallax

Really, if I have any major complaint it’s on the actual plot. While it’s not a bad plot, there are some pacing issues and it focuses more on Hal Jordan the human rather than Green Lantern the hero. Most of the movie is spent on Hal learning his powers and accepting his responsibility as a superhero. While it’s not bad per se, it’s disappointing we don’t get to see more heroics. I suppose the inevitable sequel won’t have to focus on the origin and we can see more good vs. evil then.

I really recommend this movie, not just because it’s a good comic flick but it’s a good movie you can take the family to see. It’s got strong lead characters, a female who isn’t there just for looks and effects that will blow your mind. So come on, it’s time to go green.

When Walt Disney had a pirate-themed ride installed in Disneyland back in the 60s, I doubt he foresaw that it would go on to be one of their most prolific rides and spawn a highly successful movie franchise. And the latest entry in the franchise is looking to be one of the most successful financially. And there’s already a fifth being planned! But does this move hold up after watching, and it is worthy of your hard-earned money?

I will say this about Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. It’s an extremely fun movie. There’s lots of rollicking action scenes the series is known for and plenty of pirate jokes to go around with adventures to be had and damsels to be saved. However, the movie does suffer from a plot that goes nowhere for most of the movie and a cast that’s mostly forgettable. It’s still worth seeing if you’re just wanting a good time though.

One particular thing that stood out to me is how much more mature this movie seemed compared to the previous trilogy. Death is commonplace, and often graphic. Innuendo flies fast from the two lead characters, Captain Jack Sparrow and the new girl Angelica. Religion even plays into the plot, even more than the politics that were found in the previous movies. It doesn’t necessarily make the movie bad, but at times it doesn’t feel like a Pirates movie, but more like a ‘gritty reboot’.

Blackbeard is our new main villain, though he’s no Davy Jones. Sure he has a magic sword that controls ships, but his presence doesn’t really strike fear into your heart, unless you’re terrified of generic pirates who are ‘evil to the soul’. The mermaids though are terrifying, dark creatures of mystery and allure. If your kids are excited to see mermaids, expecting something akin to Ariel, it’s best to warn them of what they’ll see. These are mermaids that destroy entire ships, eating their victims (men, of course) alive as they drag them to the ocean depths. I was on the edge of my seat for them, and not just because of their extremely well-placed Godiva Hair. The new female lead Angelica is alright, but her main character trait basically amounts to ‘pretty girl’. She’s exciting at the most, but hardly memorable.

The plot had the potential to be really interesting, but it suffered from far too much padding in between the important scenes. It’s really not too much smaller than the previous movie’s plot. There are three separate groups trying to reach the Fountain of Youth; Blackbeard’s pirates, Barbossa’s men, and the Spaniards. They each cross paths at times, throwing small punches then moving on for an explosive finale. I really only wish the Spaniards were featured more often… for such important people they felt like they were only there for ten minutes.

But my main problem with the movie is the scale. The third movie may have been a bloated mess of a plot with little action, but it did have one thing. An epic feeling. A feeling that this was a grand movie whose finale would change the face of the pirate world forever. But On Stranger Tides hardly met that scale. Yes, I’ll admit it was a fun adventure but I ask you Disney, where’s my epic ship battle? Where’s my ten-minute long swordfight between the main characters on top of a waterwheel? I felt almost let down by the scale, but perhaps I hyped myself up too much for this movie.

Still, with the exotic locales and the equally exotic women, this was an alright movie. Maybe it wasn’t the best movie in the franchise but there was a lot to like. I’d recommend it for anyone who liked the earlier movies but was annoyed by all that Orlando Bloom getting in the way. Who watched the movies for him anyway?